Cuffing Season: Setting Boundaries and Navigating New Relationships
We have a very special guest writer for this Chronicle, our very own Associate Therapist, Kristie Burkett! As the colder months approach and the days grow shorter, many of us feel the urge to "cuff" — to pair up and find warmth, both literally and emotionally. But what is it about this time of year that sparks the desire for companionship, and how can we navigate the challenges of seeking love during this seasonal shift? In this article, Kristie, a therapist with a passion for relationships, delves into the psychology of "cuffing season." She explores how loneliness, societal pressures, and our need for connection play a role in the relationships we form during the winter months — and offers insights on how to approach this season with intention, self-awareness, and emotional clarity.
Written by: Kristie Burkett, MACP, CCC, Associate Therapist at Fernweh Wellness
As the leaves fall and temperatures drop you might notice a shift not only in the weather, but in relationships. It’s that time of year when people start to feel the urge to settle down, cuddle up, and spend time with a significant other. Welcome to "cuffing season."
This seasonal dating phenomenon sees singles everywhere craving connection and companionship as the weather cools. While many enjoy the coziness of being coupled up during this time, it can also bring emotional challenges. If you're considering jumping into a relationship to stay warm during the winter, here’s how to navigate it in a healthy and balanced way.
What Exactly is Cuffing Season?
Cuffing season is the time of year, typically from late fall through winter, when people are more inclined to enter short-term relationships. This phenomenon has become especially popular in recent years, thanks to the influence of social media. While there are plenty of reasons for the seasonal interest in pairing up, there’s a few that often come up:
Cold Weather: Winter’s arrival brings cozy, indoor activities that are best shared with a partner.
Holiday Nostalgia: Festivities and family gatherings can bring out feelings of warmth and a desire for companionship.
New Year’s Resolutions: With the new year on the horizon, many people focus on setting goals that include improving their social or romantic life.
While it might be fun and comforting to spend the colder months with someone special, it’s important to be mindful of your intentions and emotions during this time. Here’s how to enjoy cuffing season without losing sight of what’s truly fulfilling in a relationship.
1. Be Clear About What You Want
Before jumping into any relationship, especially during cuffing season, take a moment to think about why you’re interested in dating. Is it because you genuinely want a partner? Or are you craving companionship to beat seasonal loneliness? Reflecting on your intentions can help you avoid unnecessary heartbreak and ensure that you and any potential partner are on the same page.
If your goal is a short-term relationship to enjoy some company, make this clear from the beginning. Open communication can help avoid misunderstandings and can make the relationship more enjoyable and authentic for both of you. But if you’re hoping for something long-term, it’s important to set boundaries and recognize that cuffing season relationships may not last once the season is over.
2. Manage Expectations and Communicate Openly
Cuffing season relationships are often short-lived, so it's essential to keep your expectations realistic. Both you and your partner should be honest about what you want. Establishing boundaries and understanding that this might not lead to a lifelong relationship can save both of you from frustration or disappointment.
Even if it’s a seasonal relationship, open communication should still be a priority. Talk about things like time commitment, expectations for the relationship, and even your emotional boundaries. Keeping an open dialogue will help you navigate the season together without feeling trapped or misled.
3. Don’t Sacrifice Self-Care!
The darker days and colder weather can impact mental health, sometimes causing the winter blues or Seasonal Affective Disorder (SAD). These factors may increase the desire for companionship, but it’s crucial to remember that self-care comes first. Relationships, even during cuffing season, require time and emotional energy, so be sure to take care of yourself.
Consider spending time outdoors during daylight hours, keeping up with physical activity, and prioritizing sleep and healthy eating habits. Keeping up with these routines can help you stay emotionally balanced and less dependent on a partner for happiness. If you’re struggling with seasonal depression, remember that professional help is available.
4. Stay True to Yourself
Sometimes, the fear of being alone during the winter months can lead to impulsive decisions. You might be tempted to compromise on qualities or values that are important to you, just to avoid loneliness. But remember, cuffing season should never be an excuse to settle for someone who doesn’t genuinely bring you happiness.
Staying true to yourself means recognizing your values, needs, and boundaries in relationships. If you find that the person you’re seeing isn’t a good fit, don’t feel pressured to keep it going just because it’s cuffing season. It’s better to wait for the right person than to spend your time with someone who doesn’t align with your values.
5. Make Time for Friends and Other Relationships
One of the most effective ways to counter the loneliness of the colder months is by spending quality time with friends and family. While a romantic partner might be part of your cuffing season experience, they shouldn’t be your only source of companionship.
Try hosting cozy game nights, movie marathons, or holiday-themed gatherings with friends and family. These connections can fill your social needs and remind you that romantic love is only one part of a fulfilling social life. Plus, the added support network can help you feel more balanced and less likely to compromise in your romantic choices.
6. Don’t Be Afraid to Walk Away
Cuffing season might come with pressure to stay committed through the colder months, but remember that you’re never obligated to stay in a relationship that doesn’t feel right. If the relationship isn’t bringing you joy, or if you’re experiencing any form of incompatibility, give yourself permission to walk away.
Acknowledge that your happiness is more important than a seasonal relationship, and there’s no shame in prioritizing your well-being. Sometimes, letting go can be a powerful form of self-love and can set you up for more meaningful connections in the future.
Navigating Cuffing Season with Balance
Cuffing season can be a time of connection, fun, and a little adventure. Embracing it can lead to enjoyable moments, as long as you stay mindful and true to yourself. Remember to manage expectations, communicate openly, and make self-care a priority. By staying grounded, you can enjoy the warmth of connection this season without compromising your long-term happiness or values.
Whether you decide to dive into a relationship or simply focus on nurturing other forms of companionship, make sure that your choices serve you well. Cuffing season may come and go, but investing in your own well-being will pay off year-round. If you’re looking for some extra support around setting boundaries in your cuffing season relationship, we’re here to help. You can book a free consult with one of our therapists here.
